Camilius: But Pray, What Kind Of A Name Is That?

By Cami Ezenwa

What Kind Of A Name – I know a fellow, who despite his level of spiritual maturity, would usually struggle with the popularised Bible verse: “In all things give thanks…”

It has to do with his name – Nebuchadnezzar.  He said he finds it difficult to believe that his own parents gave him that name.

I had thought so myself. In fact, I was of the opinion that whoever gave him the name must be wicked. Nebuchadnezzar was, from Christian perspectives, a notorious Babylonian king who took Israel through their worst nightmares, but later got his worth of God’s wrath, yet, his parents gave him that.

I hear they were thrilled by the sheer phonetic drag and concluded it must be a fantastic name.

By Cami Ezenwa

And do you know what? I have had my own share of quizzical looks concerning the nomenclature.

“camilius?”, I have heard my student – you know students na, they come in moulds and varieties- whisper to a colleague before, “what kind of a name is that”, she rhetorically asked, to my utter chagrin.

Well, I couldn’t take it to heart, being that I myself had usually wondered:  Camilius: what kind of a name is that?

I wasn’t privy to the naming; neither did I sit back once of age, gloating about it.. I actually tried, the much a teen, still under parental influence could, first.

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One such attempt almost ended in disaster comically writing.

It was to go for Confirmation name, being originally Catholic. And you know what the Church Catechist suggested?

Ebene- what? Whereby, I stormed out of the place protesting.

My mind had quickly gone back in time to secondary school days.

We had this Ebenezer, and honestly whose physical outlook did even graver damage to the name. He had an overwhelming big head, disproportionate for his body weight, yet he was a 100 meters racer for the school. Truth be told, I was in that school, I never saw Ebenezer win any race?

Instead, the outcome of his constant trials provided enough material for the form jesters. That was why I could not, but vehemently refuse the suggestion on Confirmation Day.

I don’t know what their problem was that day, for while we were yet at it, another man, after seeing my protest, said he had a solution, to which we were all eager.

Do you know what he suggested? Abadnego!

“Abadnego?”, I repeated a number of times, shaking my head and tears of frustration almost escaping my eyes.

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Even the one we eventually settled for, I cannot say here. You yourself  would wonder what happened to that day, or is it to those set of people.

And for my student, who said: Camilius: What Kind Of A Name Is That, I wonder what she would have said.

Somewhat, I would understand if I was born in the 2000s, as it appears now that culturally  reasonable names are almost extinct, or exhausted, and parents are now latching on just anything, including adjectives to name their children.

Purity, Jerusalem, or even Speed when for example, the pastor releases related annual or monthly themes. .

Gracious me, even Century, Juicy are now trending names? And you say everything is ok with us?

In fact, as a lecturer, in contact with people of all ages, classes and cultures, you literally have to use your hands or handkerchief some times to shield your laughter, so you don’t embarrass some, especially at introduction classes.

And the last time the matter was broached in my graduating Higher National Diploma (HND) class, we all had a good laugh, at the sheer hilarity of names these days.

Taiwo Olaosebikan, our uncrowned Daddy GO, itinerant drummer for the campus fellowship was the one who eventually availed us a long list. And you could imagine the scenario as we attempted decoding Yoruba names, an Igbo man presiding!

Bioku for example, and somebody jocularly tried to explain: It is usually given to that child who has so much traumatisied his parents that they have now resolved to snuff life off him should he hesitate to die. .

And how about Ajanlekoko?

First, there was a long laughter, before someone said: Dog is pursuing hyena.

So, why was the dog pursuing the hyena, the worst scavenger of all carnivores, I asked? And instead of a real response, there was a hilarious laughter.

But, the commotion that ensued by the time, another male student entered, was so uproarious many people who were outside, came running into the Newswriting studio where we were.

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Pint-sized, he was troublesome and always the cause of altercation in the class.

Fijabi!, Fijabi sir!, they shouted once he showed his face. He was tramatised, and ended up asking the same question: Fijabi, what kind of a name is that?

Our response was to showcase a list, which abridged version I have reproduced below:

Malomo – Don’t go again

Durojaie – Wait and enjoy better life

Kosofe – There is nothing free here.

Ajanaku – Strong roots

Anikulapo –We have wealth

Mosebolatan – I thought the wealth was finished.

So, don’t just say, what kind of a name is Camilius; share with us, your perspectives of the above.

Thank you for your time.