I was cheating on my husband of 18 years with his own friend and after 2 years, my husband caught me. How can I make this go away from his mind and have him forgive me and move forward?
The Betrayed Spouse’s Space and Community
Responses:
Robert Yunk
There is only one possible thing you can do to make this go away from his mind. And even with this one thing, there are no guarantees.
The one thing you can do to help make your betrayal go away from his mind is to pack your shit and leave. Never darken his doorstep again.
There is a small chance that after he is rid of you and finds someone who honors and respects marriage, he will forget he ever met you.
I know he is already trying to forget you. If he is fortunate enough to find a woman who cares about him and their marriage, there is a chance he will be so thrilled you are not in his life that he will forget you ever existed.
Vivid Sky
Wow, this is what happens when some people think the Men In Black Nebulizer is a real thing. Let me break it to you. Your marriage is over. Done.
Leave the poor guy alone. There is no way you can make cheating on a spouse go away.
You act like this is his problem rather than your own self control.
The fact that you cheated with his friend, and for 2 years – what kind of person are you? Then you are upset that you got caught?
This is either a fake question from a 14 year old, to get responses, or you are a narcissist of the n-th degree and need extensive therapy to get yourself together and understand what you’ve done.
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James Franklin
It will never go away. He may forgive you and want to try to move forward, But he will never fully trust you again (as he shouldn’t) and it will always be in his mind.
You threw 18 years of a relationship away for lust.
No matter what your excuse is, You shit on those marriage vows, and lowered your moral standards for sex. Instead of doing what married couples are supposed to do, and work through whatever issues your having.
Ive been with my wife for 17 years. I wouldn’t forgive her or stay with her. Because id never trust her again, and no matter how people try to justify it, cheating is a CHOICE. Not a mistake.
A mistake is slipping on ice, dropping your keys, or forgetting to add sugar to a recipe. Not sneaking off, and lying about where you’ve been. Not flirting and sending nudes. Not secret phone calls, or secret meet ups. Not spreading your legs and letting another person insert themselves inside you.
Statistically, people who cheat once, will do it again. In fact, People who cheat once are 3X as likely to do it again. He thought he knew you, he thought you guys had mutual trust, good communication, and a great relationship.
But then he finds out you got horny and threw it all out for lust? All the times he thought you were getting groceries but you were screwing his friend? What’s worse, Is you did it with his friend. So now, Hes going to question the trust he has in everyone around him. Not just you. If you slept with a guy at work, He could chalk it up to “some women have no self control, and she lowered her morals for this guy”. Now, Hes going to question every single person around him. You literally broke the one rule in marriage. Shame on you.
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The Moon Whisper
Separation is your best friend in this case.
You caused enough emotional pain in this man’s life to last a lifetime. Cheating is no easy thing to forgive. It takes serious time and a commitment to regain someone’s trust after being betrayed to that extent, and in most cases cheating can be the final nail on the coffin called your relationship.
Your bond with this person is forever changed. There is a good chance he won’t give you a second chance. He isn’t obligated too either and I don’t blame him if he never contacts you again. That’s just the risk you take when you decide to be sneaky and chase after cheap thrills.
Best case is to simply accept your new reality without your significant other and learn not to throw away something precious for a few hours of ‘fun’.
Charles Bishop
You can’t. You cheated, you betrayed him, and you did it with his best friend. You are both pieces of shit. If you really love your husband, you should grant him an easy divorce, let him keep his money, pension, and anything else that he has earned, and apologize for your actions. Then tell him that you hope he finds a woman that can make him happy and stay faithful to him because you were not that person.
I hope he moves on from you and his “friend”. He can do better and I am rooting for him.
As for you, you need counseling. You need to work on yourself. You’re a cheater and I can’t fathom doing it with his best friend. What kind of person are you? You need to do some real soul searching. Admit that you are a piece of shit, get some help, and try to find a way to move forward.
Matoh Hebikage
Even your question is a betrayal. Your question isn’t “how can I become a better person, and earn forgiveness?” Of course it wasn’t, because you’re an absolute selfish POS that only truly cares about themselves. Your husband will never forget. Not for lack of trying, but your and his friends ultimate betrayal will stay with him forever. You should probably pray to whatever God you observe and thank that deity that you weren’t born a Muslim. I think you’d be stoned to death if you were.
You break the heart and trust of a man, and don’t want to actually improve on not being a garbage human being, You just want him to forget and forgive. The best thing you could do for your husband, is ‘accidentally’ step in front of a train or bus. That’s assuming you have life insurance.
Bellisma
My husband cheated on me and gave our tax return to her so she can buy a car and if that wasnt enough she claimed she was pregnant he was giving her money and she had a fake pernatity lab test but it wasnt real at all she lied and was getting $1000 a month from him. She is a worthless piece of shit who ran rackets but bizarrely she looks innocent. With that being said I am with him but if I had the financial means to leave I would of done it years ago I should of went with my instincts on this one I regret it and I should of never looked back but it is easier said than done. I wish your husband much luck
Omarr Franklin
Leave. That’s what you can do. Men will never ever forget about something like that. And if he somehow does that will say something about him. Move on. You made your choice. You proved unworthy to be a wife.
Ayu
Cheating, cheating, cheating
-Quora; illustration: Daily Express
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