‘My Late Dad Would Be Disappointed That I Am Now A Divorcee’

Like many dads, he was concerned about his daughter getting married, and piled so much pressure that it, at the time, got to the young lady.

She had not been through of the trauma of her recent past involving i5 abortions when the pressures came, and this made things worse.

But now, the marriage for his daughter he had piled pressure for, had broken down, the daughter now a divorcee.

–‘My Late Dad Would Be Disappointed That I Am Now A Divorcee’

The above is perspective of the life of Matchmaker and relationship coach, Lara Kudayisi, as revealed in an interview she granted Punch.

Kudayisi who admits that it is not easy being a single mum, also refuses to be defined by those past, the reason she had taken to being a match maker and a relationship coach.

Her organisation Lara Kudayisi International she informs, helps hitherto traumatic people to find happiness again, even as she disagrees with the assertion that matchmakers and relationship experts have difficulties in keeping relationships.

“What people do not know”, she begins,”is that one cannot use people’s personal lives to judge their professional lives. Matchmaking is a professional service and it has nothing to do with the life of a person. This means that if I am a matchmaker, I must have been certified and it does not affect my personal life. Also, I am a cognitive behavioural therapist, but that does not exclude me from going through emotional pain.

On the issue of sharing the story of her once having 15 abortions in a largely secretive society, she said as much as the experience was traumatic, but sharing the story around it is divinely instructed:

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“I started (sharing my story) 10 years ago and it was a divine instruction so that others can learn from my story. From then till now, I have grown to be a relationship therapist and life coach so that I can help other people who have similar experiences with me”.

Stereotyping and stigmatisation she adds no longer matter to her, neither does her past define her.

“I have gone through years of therapy and I have got closure with all the men I was involved with. That helped me to heal and be able to talk about my story. I do not harbour any anger or hurt anymore and it is all part of my journey.

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On whether she had divorced before or after her abortion story, she said:

“I went public with my abortion story even before I got married. My ex-husband met me sharing my abortion story, which was what attracted him to me. My marriage had nothing to do with my past and this was the inspiration behind my book, ‘Why the Matchmaker’s Marriage Failed’.

‘My Late Dad Would Be Disappointed That I Am Now A Divorcee’