Good Parenting …The Practical Tips

Children are a gift from the Lord and investing in their lives is first and foremost, a moral imperative. .

The values placed on kids today, consciously or unconsciously will have a major impact on society tomorrow hence understanding the stages of a child’s development helps parents to know what to expect and how best to support the child as he or she grows.

While the first five years of a child is fundamentally important, they are the foundation that shapes children’s future 

Environment is critical, children have the right to grow up in an environment in which they are enabled to reach their full potential in life and it is the responsibility of the parents to ensure these rights are respected, protected and fulfilled

In a recent interview with one of the children teacher, Sis Bimbo Tunkarimu on good parenting, she hinged her stance on prayer and morality.  Find the excerpt below.

What does good parenting mean to you?

Parenting is not of you but of God, the parent that prays to God first in everything that has to do with their children.

The parent that takes time to look out for what their children are doing. The parent that are friendly to their children, knowing the in and out of their children. The parent that are present for their children is a good parent.

How do you raise godly children?

The bible says it’s not of him that willth not of him that runth, it’s God that shows mercy. It is God Himself that raise godly children but God uses us as parent, as instrument to raise up godly children.

To raise godly children, a child will do what you do if you show example of a godly person, I believe that child will also be a godly child.

 Making your child have a relationship with God is very important not just bringing your child to church but your child have a relationship with God and how do they see that relationship with God, is from you introducing that God you serve, that you know is the true and living God to that child, that is when the child has a true relationship with God and that child must experience God by himself, there is no amount of bible you tell that child that he would understand.

Raising a godly child is you having a godly character to impact in the life of the child. Pointing the child towards God and ensure that, that child walks in that direction.

As a children teacher, how do you deal with a problem child?

Children like that; you have to find out the root cause of why a child is misbehaving. It is not about beating or shouting. From the root, you can deal with the situation.

Also, there is what I call appealing to the conscience of the child. Find out from the child, “why are you behaving in such manner”. Sometimes, it might be something that is happening at home.

Scolding a child is good, talking to a child is good, but most importantly pray with the child.

Finally, as a mother, at what point do you begin to pray for your children?

Well, am not a biological mother, am an adopted mother. I have lot of children but I believe that from when you have that child in your womb, you begin to talk to that child.

The bible says, we are spirit being and spirit hears what you say. Begin to pray for the baby; begin to tell the child the purpose of God for his life.

Praying is not when you have the child or when the child start talking. Prayer starts from the womb.

Here are some practical tips

Discipline, set limits and consistency

Discipline is a moral builder and it’s paramount in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviours, adhere and learn self-control.

Children need those limits to grow into responsible adults. Establishing house rules help kids to understand your expectations of them as children.

Some rules might include no T.V until homework is done, no hitting or hurtful teasing allowed.

Being consistent teaches what you expect and encourages the children to align but common mistake some parents do is failure to follow through.

Appropriate discipline is okay while allowing your teen to earn independence. Prov. 29v10

Boost your child’s self esteem

Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, body language, words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem.

Letting kids do things independently makes them feel capable and strong. Praising, accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud and ecstatic. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child favourably with another will make kids feel worthless.

Avoid making loaded statement or using words as weapons. Comments like “Am ashamed of you; are you actually my child?; what a stupid thing to do”.

Choose words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistake and that you still love him even when you do not love his behaviour

Be flexible and wiling to adjust your parenting style

As your child grows, you will gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now may not work as well in a year or two.

 To avoid frustration, continue to provide guidance and be ready to be flexible. Environment support or stultify children’s growth, if it is not conducive enough, provide a supportive atmosphere

Make communication a priority

Take time to communicate and make your expectations clear to your ward. Express a desire to listen to your child and encourage them as well to talk.

Children who are not getting the desired attention from their parents may often resort to domestic staff and peer groups for interaction.

There are windows of opportunity for parents and children to get together.  Attending concerts, games and church activities with your teen communicates caring and provides a platform for parents to know more about their children. Seize every available moment to make a connection.

If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings and invite your child to work on a solution with you.

Above all, maintain a healthy and robust relationship, place yourself in a way that it will easy for your child to communicate everything that happens around her.

Be a good role model

Children deserve parents who models Christian life before them particularly young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents.

The younger they are the cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of children, think, is that how you want your child to behave when angry?

Be aware that you are consistently being watched by hour children. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Model the right traits you wish to see in your children, love God, respect, friendly,  honesty, kindness, tolerance, exhibit unselfish behaviour, offer support without expecting rewards. Express appreciation and offer Compliments.

All of the above can help to feel more fulfilled as a parent.

-Featured image courtesy of UNICEF