‘It’s Not Easy To Carry Around Evidence Of Sex In Public’

‘it’s not easy to carry around evidence of sex in public’. Does the statement,  in reference to one of many challenge of pregnant women, ring any bell? May be, to those who had followed his antecedents while alive.

We refer to no other than former Zimbabwean dictator, Robert Mugabe, a man who has remained  controversial in both life and death. Indeed, Mugabe was an enigma for good or bad.

We just decided to use this opportunity to refresh memories, of statements, outlandish and instructive credited to Mugabe, rightly or erroneously. (Part One)

1. Ladies, don’t be deceived by a man who will text you: “I miss you”, only when it’s cold or raining….you are neither an umbrella nor a jacket.
2. The size of a socialite’s backside is indirectly proportional to the size of her brain.
3. We are living in a generation where people ‘in love’ are free to touch each other’s private parts, but are not allowed to touch each other’s cell phones because they are private.
4. Kenyans are good runners because corruption is always chasing them.
5. No matter how men shake their ‘thing’ after urinating, the last drop is always reserved for the boxers.
6. Girls, learn to take care of yourselves. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. And as if that is not enough, they will then use you as testimony in church.
7. Zimbabweans, let us respect pregnant women for it is not easy to carry around evidence of sex in public.
8. In Africa, the only warning people take seriously is ‘low battery’
9. We are all born mad, but some decides to remain so.
10. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
11. READ ALSO: Give Us Information On This Man And Smile Home With N5m’
13. The only thing that scares me about marriage is that you have to wake up earlier on the wedding day
14. Britain is a very cold, uninhabitable country with small houses
15. We ask, was Obama born out of homosexuality? We need continuity in our race, and that comes from the woman, and no to homosexuality. John and John, no; Maria and Maria, no. They are worse than dogs and pigs. I keep pigs and the male pig knows the female one.
16. Gay rights is not worthy of discussion. Those that engage in such acts are insane. We cannot tolerate this, otherwise the dead will rise against us.
17. The only man you can trust is a dead white man.
18. I have died many times – that’s where I have beaten Christ. Christ died just once and resurrected once.
19. Cricket civilises people and creates good gentlemen I want everyone to play cricket in Zimbabwe; I want ours to be a nation of gentlemen.

-To be continued

Dear Reader, what do you think about the man, Mugabe? Thank you for sharing with us